Why stepping on stage at 40 — as a single dad running a business — taught me more about life than any trophy ever could.
The last time I stood on a bodybuilding stage, I was 22 years old. It was 2007. I placed second. Again.
Second in 2005. Second in 2007. Second in strongman. Second, second, second. After a while, ‘second place’ stopped being a result and started becoming an identity. So I walked away. Eighteen years is a long time to sit on the sidelines of something you love.
Then I turned 40.
I’m a single dad of two boys. I run a personal training studio with a team of 20. My calendar is stacked from 5am to 9pm most days. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I made a decision that changed everything — I was going to step back on a bodybuilding stage.
Not when the timing was right. Not when the kids were older. Not when the business was ‘sorted.’ Now.
Here’s the thing. I’d made every excuse under the sun. What if I come last? What if I don’t look good? I own this gym — what does it say about me if I can’t place? I’ve got kids now. I’m too busy. Too old. Too far removed from the sport. Sound familiar? Because I reckon you’ve got your own version of that list. And it’s probably just as long as mine was.
The Decision That Killed the Excuses
The word ‘decision’ comes from the Latin decidere — it literally means ‘to kill off.’ When you make a real decision, you’re not picking an option. You’re killing the alternatives. You’re burning the boats.
I didn’t ‘decide to try’ competing again. I decided to compete. Full stop. That meant 10 weeks of aggressive dieting. That meant training six days a week. That meant posing practice squeezed into already packed days. That meant a wax, a spray tan, and standing half-naked in front of judges at an age when most blokes are settling into a comfortable belly and a weekend beer routine.
But here’s what I’ve learned from coaching thousands of clients: people don’t fail because they lack knowledge. They fail because they never actually decide. They ‘want to.’ They ‘plan to.’ They ‘might.’ And wanting, planning, and mighting don’t get you on stage. Decision does.
You Can’t Train for Fat Loss
Let me be clear on something that most of the fitness industry still gets wrong. You cannot train for fat loss. There are only three adaptations you get from training: you build muscle, you get stronger, and you build cardiovascular endurance.
Fat loss is a byproduct.
How do you create that byproduct? You get into a calorie deficit. And when you’re prepping for a competition, you need to be extremely strict with your diet. There’s no Master Chef-style ‘eat whatever you want’ approach. The more routine and regimented you are, the more consistent the results are going to be.
My total calorie consumption during prep was about 1,600 calories a day. My normal intake sits around 3,000. That’s nearly half. And I’ll be upfront — this is not for beginners. I’ve been doing this for 25 years. I had 10 weeks to get the job done, and I was coming to win.
The Anti-Cook’s Guide to Meal Prep
I’m not a cook. I’m the anti-cook. And I think that’s actually an advantage.
Every guy who wants to get shredded — I don’t care whether you can cook or can’t cook — you need base cooking skills. Not MasterChef skills. Base skills. Here’s my whole philosophy on food preparation: keep it as minimal as possible.
I divided my food into four categories: proteins, carbs, vegetables, and fats. Then I batch cooked each one. A kilo of chicken thigh on the Weber — that’s my protein for 2 to 3 days. A kilo of vegetables into a glass container, straight in the fridge. A kilo of sweet potato or rice for my carbs. Done.
When I got hungry, I didn’t fall off the horse. I opened my fridge and my food was already made. Here’s my carbs. Here’s my protein. Here are my fats. Instead of being OCD about tracking macros down to the gram, I simply set myself up for success.
That’s the difference between a system and willpower. Willpower runs out at 8pm on a Friday. Systems don’t.
You might be wondering why I ate chicken thigh instead of breast. I just prefer it. I love fattier meats. So I chose thigh over adding more carbs. It’s simple — pick the foods you’ll actually eat consistently and build around those.
Diet Depression Is Real — And It’s Temporary
I’m not going to sugarcoat this. There was a week during my prep that was one of my lowest. I call it diet depression. You’re in a deep calorie deficit, your energy is in the gutter, and everything just feels… heavy. Super duper depressed.
Then I had 200 grams of sweet potato one night. Didn’t even touch the sides. But you know what? The diet depression just lifted. Immediately. Not everything sucked anymore. I didn’t suck. I felt — not normal — but better.
If you’re on your own journey to lose weight and change your body, remember this: it can feel a lot like watching paint dry. If you’re expecting something to change every day, it’s probably not going to change all that much. But when you zoom out to three months, you can lose 12 kilos. Maybe more. And even if you lost six kilos in three months — that’s six kilos. You’re directionally correct.
Don’t worry about being perfect. The all-or-nothing mentality usually gives you nothing. What’s far better is being directionally correct.
Training: Fundamentals Done Unbelievably Well
Here’s the most common question I get about my prep: what about cardio?
I didn’t do any. Zero.
The caveat is I committed to a minimum of 10,000 steps per day. And being a dad of two kids, some days my steps hit 20,000 just from running after them and doing what I call ‘life.’ But deliberate cardio sessions? None.
My weight training was simple. Mondays: chest, back, shoulders. Tuesdays: legs with a quad focus. Wednesdays: an extra walk or a rest day. Thursdays: another upper body session. Fridays: legs with a posterior focus — hamstrings and glutes. Saturdays: a cheeky arm day. Love a cheeky pump on a Saturday.
Rep ranges sat between 6 and 12. There were some supersets, some drop sets, but mainly straight sets taken to failure. That’s it.
My training philosophy during this prep was fundamentals done unbelievably well. The same movements, ground into perfect movement patterns. Very simple. Executed perfectly. That’s how you get the result — not by chasing complexity, but by mastering simplicity.
Time Management Is a Myth
People wait. They want a perfect window to do anything. And the truth is — there is no perfect window.
I’ve heard it a thousand times from clients. ‘I’ll start when the kids are back at school.’ ‘I’ll start after this project wraps up.’ ‘I’ll start when things calm down.’ Things don’t calm down. Life doesn’t politely pause so you can get in shape.
So how did I handle the pressure of kids, business, and a competition prep all at once? I didn’t manage my time. I managed my focus.
Time management is a myth. What you actually have is focus management. If you can manage your focus, that’s where you manage your priorities. And if you can manage your priorities, that’s how you get things done.
Think of it like a spotlight. You can’t light up the whole theatre at once, but you can choose what to illuminate. During my prep, the spotlight was on training, nutrition, and recovery. Everything else still happened — it just didn’t get the spotlight.
Order and Chaos
There’s a balance between order and chaos that I think most people get wrong. The more order you have in your life, the more you can invite chaos. And if you’re someone who goes after goals — who actually attacks life — you need to be ordered. You need to be structured.
Because chaos is coming whether you’re ready or not.
If you’re not ordered and structured, how are you going to handle that chaos? You become a chaotic person. It bleeds into your goals, your thought process, your relationships. My whole thing is this: control the controllables. I can control me. I can control my environment. I can’t control what happens — that’s the truth. But there are things I control. So let’s control those things.
Your breath controls your heart. Your heart controls your mind. Control your breath, you can control your state. Before I walked on stage, I was doing nasal breathing to slow my heart rate. Simple? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.
The Monkey on My Back
My competition history reads like a lesson in almost-but-not-quite. 2004 — came last. 2005 — came second twice. 2007 — came second three times. Strongman — second. Again — second.
So when I stepped on stage at 40 and placed second in the first two divisions, I started wondering whether I even had a chance. I was competing against blokes half my age. Fierce lineup. And I was starting to accept my fate — walk away with silver medals and call it a good effort.
Then this happened.
‘Rising star men’s racing physique. And our gold medal winner — competitor number 74.’
Almost didn’t believe it. The monkey was off my back. I had finally won. I looked around backstage at the four or five guys who I thought could’ve taken it, and I couldn’t believe it was me.
But it didn’t stop there. The floodgates opened. I ended up winning the best poser award — ironic, given posing was the part I hated most — and a fourth medal on top of it.
What I Actually Learned From All of This
This isn’t really a story about bodybuilding. It’s a story about the excuses we make and the decisions we avoid.
For 18 years, I told myself the story that the timing wasn’t right. That I was too busy. That I was past it. That I might embarrass myself. I made every excuse that most people make — and I coach people through those exact same excuses every single day.
What changed wasn’t my circumstances. My circumstances were actually harder at 40 than they were at 22. Two kids. A business. A team depending on me. What changed was that I made a decision. I killed off the other options.
Age is just a number. I was in the best shape of my life at 40. So if you’re sitting there thinking you’re too old, too busy, too far gone — I’m telling you, you’re not. As long as you train hard, eat well, and supplement smart, age is no excuse. It’s a mindset.
And if you’re consistent, the world’s your oyster.
So here’s what I want you to take away from this:
Stop waiting for the perfect window. It doesn’t exist. The best time to start was yesterday. The second best time is now.
Build systems, not motivation. Batch cook your food. Set your training days. Create a routine so boring that it becomes invisible — because invisible routines are the ones that actually stick.
Be directionally correct. You don’t need to be perfect. You need to be moving in the right direction. Three months of ‘good enough’ will beat one week of ‘perfect’ every single time.
Make the decision. Not the plan. Not the intention. The decision. Kill off the alternatives and commit. That’s where everything changes.
I quit bodybuilding for 18 years. Then I stepped on stage at 40, as a single dad running a business, and won.
Your turn.
Ready to Make Your Decision?
If this story hit a nerve — if you’re the person who’s been waiting for the ‘right time’ to get serious about your body, your health, your life — I want to help you make that decision.
I’ve coached thousands of clients through exactly this. From everyday people who are sick of spinning their wheels, to competitive athletes who want to step on stage. The approach is the same: build a system, execute the fundamentals, and commit to the process.
Apply to train with me and my team at Enterprise Fitness — we’ll build your plan, hold you accountable, and get you the results you’ve been putting off.
And if you want to go deeper on the nutrition philosophy, the mindset shifts, and the systems that actually work — grab a copy of my book, The Enterprise Diet. It’s the playbook I wish someone had given me 25 years ago.
